Being in the "transition" stage of my life has tested my faith repeatedly! So full of questions and giant decisions to make, one can feel so lost & confused so easily. Where do I go? What do I do? Grad school? Job? Where to live? What church do I get involved with? Where do I serve? Is this right? Never before has a generation had so many options & opportunities; yes, that's a great thing, but YES, it can be paralyzing! We are told we can do / be anything we want, so how do we choose?
Call me crazy, but I do believe that God has uniquely gifted and shaped each one of us with different talents, strengths, & opportunities; I believe He has really awesome plans for each of us to accomplish. {"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." ~Ephesians 2:10} That doesn't mean closing our eyes and saying "ok, God, push me in the right direction - bring the right job / school / spouse to my doorstep, drop the answers in my lap." That means using the good sense & knowledge He gave us to make our decisions whilst being open to His direction and asking for His wisdom and guidance. Too often we limit God, trying to pin Him down and put Him in a box, trying to find limits to define the work of our lives when we should be jubilant with the sheer potential of what could be!
Maybe sometimes, it's not "this" or "that" - maybe sometimes, it's both! Since college, when I heard speakers at chapel from the International Justice Mission and World Vision, I've had a real pull on my heart towards the hurting in other countries (particularly children). I think being globally minded is SO important, to think outside oneself and one's small, limited worldview, and I have so many dreams & aspirations of world travel. At the same time, I'm a nester; I like to buy pretty teapots and fun kitchen accessories, I like my morning coffee routine, and I enjoy creating cozy, beautiful living spaces. I recently had a good heart-to-heart chat with my parents about my worries & stresses over what's next. Maybe it's just hard for me to see where I'm going because I'm in the midst of the fog right now, but I was so encouraged when my Dad said that he could tell God is about to do something huge in my life.
I like where I'm living. It really feels like home now. I like the music & art scene. I like that there's always something cool or interesting going on. I like the square, the coffee shops, the hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I like that people here are health-conscious and eat organically because that's what's best for your body. I love that people here are so into going green - not as a trend, but as a way of life to create a better world and environment. (I believe God wants us to be good stewards of our bodies and our world.) I don't know yet what international adventures lie in my future, but I have a feeling that Denton may be my home base, and God will present some pretty incredible opportunities for me to serve Him both here and internationally. I'm not sure where yet, Africa, Europe, Asia, South America - but I know there are a lot of Francophone countries, and maybe that's why God had me choose French. All I know is that I want to be exactly where God wants me to be, because I don't want to be anywhere else! Anywhere else is not God's best for me, will make me miserable, and won't be fulfilling His purposes for me. I don't know what's next or where I might be going, but I'm so excited about the possibilities!
I think I'm ready. Whether it's to be a Paul or a Stephen or an Esther - wherever He leads, I'll go! And I'm not afraid.
"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." ~2 Timothy 1:7
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." ~ 1 John 4:18 (1 John 4 is one of my favorite passages, you should read it sometime)
So to answer my first questions: Where do I go? What do I do? Where to live? What church do I get involved with? Where do I serve? How do I choose? -All I can tell you is to give up your will (just accept that God is the almighty powerful yet loving Creator of the Universe who knows your every facet and wants nothing more than for you to live a joyful, productive life), blow up your pre-conceived notions of what God can do with your life, and be ready & open for His direction & opportunities.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." ~1 Corinthians 10:31
